Walking into 2018

This year has started with devastating news. Unexpected and heartbreaking news that has affected some of my dearest friends. Setting out my goals for the year seems a little selfish and inconsiderate when we are all grieving and some of those closest to me are facing an unimaginable year.

Accordingly my goals have changed, like they always do depending on the road we face. I plan to walk into 2018 holding the hands of friends I will never again take for granted. In honour of Nick, who was always making plans and setting goals in endless moleskin notebooks, who had dreams larger than most of us imagine, who was there for me in my darkest hours and who I regret not spending more time with, here is my first goal. For you, because it was the last thing you asked of me…

To start to play bass at church again, I will take the things I learnt from you Nick and put them to use as I should have been doing last year. I’m sorry.

I will try

To make healthy choices….

With food, friends, relationships, sleep and exercise. No longer will I let people walk over me, I am worth more than that. I need to learn to say no to the wrong choices and yes to the right ones. I will attempt to embrace positive opportunities and move on from those which are not good for me in the long run.

To look to the future….

To continue building my business, to realise my value, to set aside savings and to develop new skills including blacksmithing, woodwork and quilting. I also want to learn Japanese and have an introduction to photoshop.

To let go…

Of past hurt, one step at a time. Of guilt and shame. Of people who I thought loved me. Of belongings I no longer need. Of grudges that are pointless.

To travel…

Where the wind takes me. I am blessed with the freedom to be able to see places many only dream of. This year I will work towards funding trips to Morocco, Mexico, Japan and New Zealand at some point in the future.

To write…

My story, or to at least consider it. Three years later and the thought of writing it still brings me out in a cold sweat. To finish the endless blog posts I have begun. To record my travels and finish my research from my time in Belize.

To focus…

On the things that matter, faith, family and friends.